Published on December 1, 2024 by Zencare Team and written by Dr. Michelle Solomon.
Let’s start by redefining self-care. Self-care is foundational. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Self-care practices allow you to be more present and effective in all areas of your life.
In our fast-paced world, we may find it difficult to remember the things that rejuvenate and replenish us. Time that was once spent sitting and thinking, is now filled with social media scrolling and distraction. It is possible we may have all forgotten how to truly relax. In such a busy world, it can be hard to find the time we need to take care of ourselves in our daily routine. What I can share is that self-care does not have to be expensive, time-consuming or look good to others. Let's strip away the commercialized veneer and rediscover what truly nourishes our well-being.
Self-care may not be just about the latest wellness trends. It's about honoring our fundamental needs—both physical and emotional well-being. By getting back to basics, we can cultivate a sustainable practice that genuinely supports our health and happiness. This is a shift in perspective that invites us to explore self-care as a holistic approach to living, rather than isolated acts of indulgence. It's an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves and prioritize what truly matters.
Productivity, multi-tasking, and “doing it all” are often praised in our society, creating a pressure to constantly achieve. However, practicing self-care may require us to slow down and prioritize our well-being over the external validation we may get from relentless productivity.
Self-care is not about checking off a list of activities you think you should engage in without truly connecting to them. Self-care is tuning in to ourselves and listening to what we need. It is saying no to things that do not serve us and yes to the things that do.
What IS Self-Care?
Self-care refers to activities and practices that we engage in regularly to reduce stress and maintain and enhance our health and well-being. However, it is difficult for many of us to dedicate a lot of time to things outside of our responsibilities. The good news is that self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming. In fact, even dedicating a few minutes to yourself a day can improve a sense of well-being. Remember, that the key to good self-care is practice, not perfection. We can only do the best with what we have in each moment. Take the first step and integrate one act of self-care into your daily routine.
If you do find yourself short on time, here are some self-care exercises you can do at your desk, in your car, or on a break.
- Tune into your body — drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, and eyebrows.
- One hand on your heart, the other on your stomach, and take a couple of breaths.
- Two big inhales and one long exhale out of your mouth.
- Get up, move around.
- Shake it off- flick your wrists as if getting off water.
- Give yourself a hug — place one hand under your armpit and the other on your shoulder.
- Affirming self-talk: “I’ve got this, I am okay, I am allowed to rest, I matter.”
Don’t skimp on the basics! Here are some basic principles to think about when planning a self-care practice.
Types of Self-Care
There are different types of self-care that you can engage in, and you might find that one type meets your needs or fits into your daily routine better than others. Regardless of what you do, taking care of your body and your emotional health can have a positive impact.
- Physical self-care: Getting adequate sleep, as many hours of sleep you need to feel fresh and rested. Having a balanced diet filled with nourishing foods like fresh fruits and vegetables. Good hygiene, and indulging in a bubble bath if that’s your thing. Exercising regularly – even daily exercise like 15 minutes of yoga. Attending medical check-ups.
- Emotional self-care: Your emotional needs are important too. Go to therapy, or find a therapist that fits your needs. Practicing mindfulness, listening to a meditation app, practicing deep breathing. Gratitude journaling, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, spending time with others.
- Mental self-care: Learning new skills, reading books, solving puzzles (Connections anyone?) or playing brain games. Setting boundaries and saying no when necessary.
- Spiritual self-care: Spending time in nature, engaging in activities that give you a sense of purpose or meaning – like volunteering at an animal shelter or assisting services at your local church or temple. You might even practice religion or explore spirituality.
- Social self-care: Maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family. Joining clubs or groups with similar interests like gaming, reading or a sport.
Here is a list of self-care activities to choose from.
How to develop and maintain a self-care routine
Resting when sick, eating when hungry, and socializing when lonely, can be instinctive behaviors (although we can sometimes forget). Developing a self-care routine can be helpful so that taking care of ourselves becomes a staple in our lives. Think of self-care like drinking water or moving our bodies; we need it for a good quality of life. Remember, this is a personal investment in our overall health that will have a pay off, and the simplest act can have a positive ripple effect for not only ourselves, but those around us. If you do not know where to start, here are some key points to think about when building a practice.
- Watch for signs of trouble. Burnout, muscle tensions, increased heart rate, clenched jaw, irritability, lack of empathy, or inability to connect for some examples.
- Ask. How do I feel and what do I need?
- Commit. Have a list of self-care activities on your phone or on a sticky note that you can refer to if you need a reminder.
- Be flexible and have grace. Self-care can look different some days. Maybe good self-care one day is taking a shower and brushing your teeth. And that is enough. Another example is if you can’t go for a run, go outside and walk for 5 minutes to get some fresh air.
- Stick to a routine. Being strict with yourself won’t be the way you consistently add self-care practices into your daily life, but figure out what kind of structure will work for you.
- Stay connected. Self-care can include connection. Spending quality time with others can elevate our moods. Smile at someone new, call a friend, ask another to go for a walk, volunteer in your community.
- Practice your NO’s. If overwhelmed at work, limit news consumption and social media, limit or stop substance use, set boundaries with unhealthy relationships.
- Be mindful. Practice presence and awareness, without judgment.
There is no one size fits all, so how do we know what is the best self-care for us?
Here are some prompting questions:
- What did you do as a child that made you feel better, was fun, or you enjoyed doing?
- What have you done, or would like to do, that feels like play, is creative, and brings joy?
- What is something you enjoy doing now, that after completing, you feel rested and whole?
Seeing a Therapist to Help Prioritize Self-Care
You can develop a personalized routine with guidance from your therapist. Importantly, attending therapy itself is a valuable form of self-care, as it prioritizes you.
We are much more than our careers, responsibilities, or daily stressors. To be able to show up authentically and whole for others, we must first nurture ourselves. We can’t pour from an empty cup. If our glass is full and overflowing, we have an abundance to share with those around us. Our relationship with ourselves must come first, and that can start with self-care.
Start with the simplest thing. It will add up overtime and you will begin to feel the benefits of self-care.
My self-care includes 10-20 minutes to myself in the morning before checking my phone or starting my day, exercise, doing my makeup, dancing to music, time with my friends and pet, a gratitude practice, and engaging in work that fosters a sense of meaning and purpose.
What will yours be?