Published on August 16,2025 by Zencare Team. Written by Dr. Christiana I. Awosan, PhD, LMFT.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist with nearly two decades of clinical experience, I view therapy through a systemic lens. This means I pay attention not only to the individual sitting across from me, but also to the relationships that shape their world. And when a loved one is present in a therapy session, it not only improves my understanding of the client, but can create an additional system for support. Inviting a loved one to therapy can have many benefits depending on the type and stage of relationship.
Research in the profession of marriage and family therapy has shown that healthy relationships, particularly close relationships, can buffer against mental illness, whereas strained relationships can perpetuate problems.
Just as health is rooted in relationship dynamics, oftentimes so are the problems. Therefore, including support of family and loved ones in therapy is key to not only recovery but preventing relapse. It promotes healing and puts clients in a better position for sustained improvement.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to invite a family member to therapy, whether that’s a partner, parent, or sibling, and gain practical tips for inviting family members to therapy in ways that build connection rather than conflict.
Why Invite a Loved One to Therapy?
According to a study in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, family‐based or relationship-based interventions have been shown to enhance treatment, lower relapse and improve recovery, while increasing relationship well‑being of the client and those around them. In other words, when the people who matter most are part of the healing process, everyone benefits.
I had a client who came to me for help with anxiety who realized that her fear of conflict was rooted in a childhood where disagreement signaled disapproval. This seemed to show up in her current relationship and at work.
Working on her anxiety, fear of conflict and relationship difficulties in individual therapy was helpful, but real change happened when she invited her partner and parents into sessions. Having them present allowed us to observe how communication patterns triggered her anxiety. Together we were able to go from exploring and naming the root of the emotional pain to implementing more functional interactional patterns. It also helped family members understand their roles and learn new ways to support her healing.
Working on her anxiety, fear of conflict and relationship difficulties in individual therapy was helpful, but real change happened when she invited her partner and parents into sessions. Having them present allowed us to observe how communication patterns triggered her anxiety. Together we were able to go from exploring and naming the root of the emotional pain to implementing more functional interactional patterns. It also helped family members understand their roles and learn new ways to support her healing.
When clients invite their family members to therapy, I have the opportunity to observe communication, emotional and interactional patterns, in real-time, which allows me to work on these patterns directly in support of my client's well being.
Preparing for the Conversation
Inviting a partner, parent or sibling to therapy can feel daunting. You may worry about hurting feelings, being blamed or making things worse. As someone who has navigated these conversations with many clients, I offer the following guidelines:
- Reflect on your goal. Ask yourself why you want a family member to join a session. Is it to gain support, improve communication or help them understand your experience? Avoid using therapy as a battleground, a way to “win” or prove yourself “right”.
- Choose the right moment. Bring up the topic during a calm, low‑pressure time. Bringing it up during a fight may make your loved one feel blamed and defensive.
- Use “I” statements. Frame the request around your needs and feelings rather than pointing fingers. This reduces defensiveness and invites collaboration. For example, “I think it would be valuable for us to be there together.” or “I think I would benefit from having your support in session, in person.”
- Normalize therapy. Emphasize that many people attend therapy to strengthen relationships and that participation does not mean anyone is “crazy.”
Let’s start by exploring how to invite a partner to therapy, one of the most common and delicate invitations people struggle with.
How to Invite a Partner to Therapy
When working with individuals in therapy, I often hear the client lament about their partner, “I wish they were here.” This statement always encourages me to explore why the client desires for their partner to be in therapy with them and what the barriers are in requesting this invitation of their partner to therapy. If your therapist suggests inviting your partner, consider the following:
- Express your desire for support. Instead of saying, “My therapist thinks you cause my anxiety,” try: “My therapist encouraged me to invite you because I value your perspective and want us to work on this together.”
- Frame therapy as an investment. Research shows that couples therapy improves relationship satisfaction and helps partners support each other’s mental and physical health. Let your partner know that their participation is an investment in both of you.
- Offer a trial. Suggest attending one or two sessions to see how it feels. Many partners are more open to a short-term commitment.
Now let’s turn to how to invite a parent to therapy, which often brings up concerns about blame or family history.
How to Invite a Parent to Therapy
If you’re in a position where you’re asking yourself, “How do I invite a parent to therapy?” know that you’re not alone. It can be incredibly nerve wracking to invite a parent into such a vulnerable space. In my experience, acknowledging any fears, like that they might be blamed, up front helps. Here’s how to approach them:
- Invite from a place of curiosity and care. For example: “There’s a part of myself I want to understand better. I’d love for you to join me in therapy because your insights could help.” Emphasize that you are not seeking to assign blame but to heal together.
- Discuss privacy. “Therapists are bound by confidentiality. Anything we discuss with them, stays with them.” Many parents worry about airing family issues. Reassure them that therapists are bound by confidentiality. Involving them as partners can actually reduce relapse and improve long‑term outcomes.
- Offer companionship. “Let’s get coffee and look at family therapists together, or we can hop on a quick informational call with my therapist if you have any questions.” Help them research family therapists or answer questions about your therapist.
Inviting a parent to therapy may feel awkward, scary — but it also could be liberating. Finally, if you’re wondering how to invite a sibling to therapy, consider how your shared history could actually be a pathway to healing.
How to Invite a Sibling to Therapy
Siblings often share a history that shapes adult relationships. Therapy can help siblings grieve, reconnect and grow together. If you’re wondering how to invite a sibling to therapy, consider the following:
- Share your journey. Explain why you started therapy and how it has helped. For instance: “I’ve been learning a lot about myself, and I realized I want us to explore our relationship together.”
- Highlight mutual benefits. Remind them that therapy can strengthen sibling bonds and provide space to process shared experiences.
- Propose shared activity. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about difficult topics while doing something together, like taking a walk or grabbing coffee. Use that time to bring up the invitation.
Overcoming Resistance: Common Objections & Responses
Family members may decline your invitation for various reasons: fear of judgment, stigma, cost or time. Here’s how to address these concerns:
Family member: “Therapy is only for people who are crazy.”
You: “Therapy is a space to learn new skills and process through difficult topics with support.”
Family member: “I’m not to blame” or “It’s not my fault you’re unhappy.”
You: “I don’t think you’re to blame. Therapy focuses on uncovering patterns, not placing blame. And positive family relationships support healthy mental, emotional and relational well-being. I want to be supported by working together”
Family member: “I don’t have time” / “It’s expensive.”
You: “What if we do a trial session? That way there’s no long-term commitment, and we can explore more affordable options like finding someone who offers a sliding scale. We can even look for someone together!”
Family member: “I’ll do it if it helps you, but I don’t need therapy.”
You: “I totally understand and thank you so much for giving this a try with me — I really appreciate the step you’re taking! Therapy is a great place to learn more about yourself as well, and many people discover unexpected benefits from going to therapy like better communication and less stress.”
After the Ask: Supporting Their Decision
What to do If your family member accepts your invitation:
- Collaborate on logistics. Offer to research therapists together, schedule appointments or send questions to the therapist. Shared decision‑making increases engagement and helps families support treatment. You could say, “Let’s grab lunch and look through some therapists together! That way we can make calls with our shared calendars in front of us to make scheduling easier for both of us.”
- Attend sessions together. Respect each person’s perspective and allow the therapist to guide the conversation.
- Reinforce confidentiality. Remind them that what is shared in therapy stays in therapy unless there is a safety concern. You could say, “We’re both safe in this conversation, and anything that is shared here, stays here with the therapist.”
If they decline:
- Respect their choice. Forcing someone into therapy rarely works and can strain relationships. Thank them for considering it and leave the door open for future discussions. You could say, “Thank you for giving it a shot, I appreciate that you took the time to join me — the door is always open to join me again.”
- Continue your own work. Like a ripple effect, your progress can become a model for others. As they see changes in you, they may become more open to joining later.
An Invitation for Connection
Extending an invitation to therapy requires vulnerability. Yet this very vulnerability demonstrates strength, care and desire for connection. It tells your loved one that you value the relationship and are willing to invest in its health. Even if they decline, the process can deepen your self‑awareness and commitment to healing.
With this guide you’re better equipped to answer questions like
Close relationships play a powerful role in mental health. Engaging family members and loved ones in therapy can accelerate healing, reduce relapse and promote long-term recovery and reduction of symptoms of mental, emotional, behavioral or relational difficulties. As a marriage and family therapist, I have witnessed individuals, couples and families transform when they choose to face challenges together.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the best way to invite a partner to therapy?
A: Be honest about why you want your partner to join. Use “I” statements, share the outcomes you hope for, and invite them to attend one or two sessions to see if it feels helpful.
Q: How do I gently suggest therapy to a parent without hurting their feelings?
A: Validate their struggles and fears of being blamed, acknowledge their privacy concerns, and express your hope for them to feel better. Offer to support them in finding a therapist and reassure them that family involvement improves outcomes.
Q: How can siblings benefit from attending therapy together?
A: Joint sessions allow siblings to understand each other’s experiences, heal old wounds, and strengthen their bond. It improves communication and allows siblings to experience a different side of each other.
Q: What phrasing works well when inviting a family member to therapy?
A: Statements like “You’re not alone; I’m here for you and would like us to work through this together” emphasize support over blame.
Q. How do I respond if they say, “I don’t need therapy”?
A: Respect their autonomy. Let them know you hear them and that you won’t force them. Share how therapy has helped you and keep the invitation open for when they’re ready.