Premarital Counseling Questions: 52 Qs You'll Ask – And Answer

By the time you’re engaged, you obviously know your partner pretty well. You know their quirks, pet peeves, and favorite pasta sauces. You’re also very clear on the fact that this is the person you’re going to spend your life with.

So — you might be wondering — what good would premarital counseling do you? What more could you possibly learn about your partner?

Quite a bit, it turns out. Premarital counseling gives you a safe space to explore what you expect from the relationship and how to healthily handle those expectations both now, and down the line.

One of you already popped the question; now it’s time to ask some other helpful questions too! Take a peek into what you can expect, with these 52 questions typically asked in premarital counseling.

  1. Children related questions
  2. Religion related questions
  3. Money related questions
  4. Work and career questions
  5. Sex related questions
  6. Social life questions
  7. Vacations and holiday related questions
  8. Moving and settling related questions
  9. Conflict resolution and decision making questions
  10. Household duty questions
  11. Personal background questions
The hands of a medium skinned couple hold each other across a table. One of the hands has an engagement ring.

You may already know the “will we or won’t we” of whether or not you want to have kids together. But digging a bit deeper into the topic can be a beneficial exercise, since it can reveal areas you can be intentional about from the start.

Premarital counseling questions regarding children might include:

Whether you’re devout, undecided, or somewhere in-between, religion is typically a tough topic for couples to discuss on their own. Secular premarital counseling provides the opportunity to voice your desires and concerns by asking questions like:

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For many, marriage marks the point at which income and finances are expected to be a shared responsibility.

But it’s not always as easy as opening a joint bank account and calling it a day. You may also need to discuss the nitty gritties of the “f” word... finances:

4. Work and career questions

One person’s long hours is another person’s normal. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about career expectations.

It’s a tricky topic, but crucial to be honest about. After all, who better to discuss sex with than your partner?

6. Social life questions

Every relationship needs a healthy balance between friends, family, and each other – what does yours look like?

Whether you both want to move, or put down roots where you are, it’s great to touch base now.

9. Conflict resolution and decision making questions

10. Household duty questions

11. Personal background questions

These are just some of the questions you can expect in premarital counseling.A premarital counselor will, ultimately, tailor the questions and sessions to your unique situation and relationship — and give you the space to discuss with the guidance of a nonjudgmental third party. Speaking with a therapist who specializes in premarital counseling is a great way to be intentional — and thoughtful — about this next stage in your life. You can find excellent, high-quality therapists in Zencare’s therapist directory using the Specialities filter.