Published on August 13, 2025 by Zencare Team. Written by Alise Lindsey, LMHC, LPC, MA, MEd.
Between your friends, family and social media algorithm, I expect you’ve heard or seen “my therapist said” in the last month. It’s because more people are attending therapy than ever before and that’s such great news! As a mental health professional, knowing that people are healing does my heart good.
However, “my therapist said” can be a bit like the game of telephone where some parts get lost in translation. It’s human nature that we miss a few things when we summarize or paraphrase without the original party to clarify, which can lead to misunderstandings and misapplications of clinical terms and information.
It’s easy to hear terms like trauma, gaslighting, OCD, or narcissist and think we understand them — but what does trauma mean, really? What is OCD, beyond “just being neat”?
While well meaning, the misapplication of words like trauma, OCD, gaslighting, and narcissist to describe behavior can spread misinformation, be invalidating to those dealing with these issues and lead to assumptions about oneself and others based on misinformation.
The Rise of Therapy Speak
Reports indicate that between 34% and 50% of adults use social media as their primary source of news and information. Meaning, the most popular influencers, podcasters and social media pages control the narrative for important issues and topics, including mental health. Moreover, when we align with someone and can relate to their explanation of something like, what is trauma, we are more likely to trust them without fact checking. However, with social media where information must be simplified and quick, many nuances of mental health can be missed and overlooked. The details about “what is OCD” can’t truly be described in a 30 second viral Reel.
Decoding Commonly Misused Terms
So let’s take some time to understand some of the mental health buzzwords that are commonly discussed on social media.
What does trauma mean?
Clinically, trauma is the exposure to or actual experience with death, serious injury and/or extreme violence (to include sexual assault/violence). People often assume that anything distressing equates to trauma. Here’s where a nuance comes in; mental health providers will refer to traumas as big T trauma and little T trauma which differentiates between the clinical definition and ongoing distressing experiences that have a negative impact on a person. However, your bad haircut or being stood up on a date is not clinical or “big T” trauma.
What does gaslighting mean?
Clinically, it is a manipulation tactic where someone sows seeds of doubt into another to make them question themselves, their reality and their sanity which works in the favor of the manipulator. It is not simply a disagreement or a misunderstanding — it is a deliberate strategy designed to destabilize the other person’s sense of self and reality.
In a gaslighting dynamic, the manipulator might:
- Deny facts (“That never happened.”)
- Dismiss feelings (“You’re being too sensitive.”)
- Twist events (“You’re remembering it wrong.”)
- Shift blame (“It’s your fault I acted this way.”)
Social media will have you believe that any difference of recollection is gaslighting. Gaslighting is intentional, calculated and often insidious because the intent is to control. Understanding what gaslighting truly is helps protect people from minimizing the experiences of those who are being psychologically manipulated, and also helps avoid mislabeling ordinary human conflict as abuse.
What is a narcissist?
Closely related to gaslighting is the term narcissist, which has become extremely popular. It is important to note that up to 6% of the population have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it is more common in men than women. A “narc” or “narcissist” is a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and a lack of empathy that is problematic in all domains of life (work, home, social etc.).
A self-centered person or a person who is seeking praise and attention is not a narcissist. Here’s another nuance; we can all be narcissistic but that does not mean it equates to a disorder. Another nuance is that unresolved trauma can negatively impact functioning which can cause individuals to behave in narcissistic ways.
It's also worth noting that labeling someone as a “narcissist” too quickly can be harmful, both to those struggling with the disorder and to individuals dealing with difficult, but non-pathological, behaviors in relationships.
What is OCD?
Another commonly misused term comes when people describe behaviors or themselves as “OCD” because they want things a particular way. So, what is OCD?
OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which is a very difficult disorder for those living with it. It is unwanted and intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors that feel impossible to control. It is more than just wanting things clean and orderly or feeling uncomfortable that something is out of place. A lot of time and emotional energy goes into rituals to help the diagnosed feel safe which can lead to upsets in other areas.
The Consequences of Misusing Therapy Terms
Can you imagine living with one of these conditions and hearing people make light of it when you are seriously struggling to manage your well-being?
OCD can be extremely severe, which is not only distressing to the individual but their loved ones as well. Imagine being a child, excited to play at the park with your friends but your parent fears germs or encountering random trash so they can’t bring you and they will not allow you to go. Or maybe they allow you to go, but they pull their hair out because they are so worried you’ll become “contaminated”. Or maybe you’re late to school because your parent is unable to leave the house without checking all the windows and doors five times. This is what real OCD can look like.
Imagine being dismissed or minimized because others think they really understand because of a viral video? They tell you “oh my boss gaslights me all the time because they changed the work schedule and now I have to work Saturday.” Meanwhile, you are in a relationship with an abuser who is hiding your belongings and telling you “maybe you lost it” or “are you sure you even had that?”.
Casual misuse of psychological terminology undermines the seriousness and severity of mental health conditions and related issues. It can also cause people to inaccurately self-diagnose or attempt to diagnose and pathologize others. How many times have we heard people assert someone they know has a condition without them being seen by a professional? This can cause strained relationships if one is asserting ill-informed beliefs about behaviors and conditions onto others or minimizing the seriousness of a loved ones’ needs.
Navigating Therapy Speak Responsibly
Be intentional about using precise and accurate language and encouraging those around you to do the same. This is truly an act of empathy to those managing serious mental health concerns. Ensure that your diagnosis is one of a professional mental health and/or medical provider and encourage others to do the same, rather than allowing self diagnosis to be the leg you stand on.
As we all navigate a world of increased connectedness through social media, where personal stories, biases, opinions and misinformation spreads easily, take a moment to check in with yourself.
For example, if the video you’re watching on TikTok is really resonating with you in how they’re talking about “having OCD” — do some research on OCD and reach out to a licensed mental health professional to dive deeper.
If you’ve seen a post on Instagram called “How to Resolve Trauma” — ask yourself if this is covering Big T trauma or Little t trauma, and is the person providing this advice a mental health professional?
If you stumble across a new term being thrown around mental health conversations — be curious! Do your own research, ask questions and think about the implications of using these terms, especially if you don’t know what they mean.
Conclusion
Discussing mental health on social media and with family and friends is valuable because it continues to lessen the stigma around mental health issues and seeking treatment. However, it is important that these casual discussions remain respectful and are fact-based and informed.
To do this, we should continue to let credible mental health providers be responsible for diagnosing, use accurate language to describe what we are seeing and/or experiencing which is considerate to those facing mental health concerns.
Social media can be so wonderful in that it brings us closer to people who can understand us, make us not feel so alone in what we struggle with — especially with mental health issues. But it’s also a place that breeds shame and reinforces stigma. The more we misuse mental health or therapy terms, the less people seek help and get the support they need.
If you feel that you have resonated with any of the mental health conversations you see happening on social media, reach out to a therapist to talk. Social media might make you question “what is OCD?”, but a licensed provider can help distinguish between everyday preferences and clinical symptoms. They can help you unpack your thoughts and bring you closer to understanding.