Written by Natalie Asalgado Money, LCSW. Published March 11, 2026.

Tax season and “Financial Literacy Month” are around the corner, but many of us don’t want to think or talk about that. Talking about money can stir up anxiety and lead us down the path of avoiding our bills altogether. Even though ignoring money-related conversations helps us feel better in the short-term, over time we can start to feel lonely, embarrassed, or ashamed. Financial avoidance takes a toll on our overall well-being and our goals.

What is financial avoidance?

Financial avoidance is a conscious or unconscious tendency to ignore money matters. It can look like a pile of unopened bills or unread bank notifications.

Avoidance can be protective to an extent. Our survival instincts help us avoid pain and seek pleasure. In the same way that someone who’s afraid of heights may avoid going up ladders, someone may avoid opening their bank account when money is a main source of stress. Unfortunately, avoidant behaviors threaten our financial stability; they don’t help us here.

The costs of avoiding our uncomfortable feelings around money are high. We might feel guilty about our avoidance, feel ashamed and withdraw from conversations with our loved ones, miss payments, and incur debt. Paying bills is stressful, but interest — like stress — compounds. Avoiding financial avoidance starts with offering yourself kind words, such as, “I’m learning,” opening your banking app, and sharing what you’re going through with someone you trust.

The shame cycle

Talking about finances can be seen as impolite, but secrecy around money makes it challenging to develop money management skills and feel less alone. Without information and guidance, we can become fearful of making mistakes, doubt our abilities, and feel inadequate. We can feel scared to share our money fears or ask for support from even our closest friends. The cycle of avoidance creates a loop of anxiety, fear, and shame. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone and you can take small steps to get out of this cycle.

Let’s make a plan

Reading books, watching videos, and scrolling through social media to learn money tips and tricks is helpful, but the most important thing to do is to know where your money is going. I find it helpful to create a plan with someone by my side (hello, body doubling).

You get to decide which categories you use.

I like to separate my restaurant/ food delivery spending into three categories: I don’t want to cook, I want to spend time with friends, and I want to go on a date with my spouse. That way, if I need to cut back on expenses, I can start by cooking at home more often rather than declining the invitation to my friend’s birthday dinner.

Estimate your monthly expenses

Some amounts, like rent or streaming services, will stay the same each month. Others will require you to make your best guess. Make a note of when you will need money for each of these expenses, e.g. rent is due by the first of the month every month. Remember to breathe and take breaks before you feel overwhelmed.

Set money aside for high priority expenses

Rent, groceries, and utilities are good examples of high priority expenses. The You Need A Budget Method encourages you to consider what your money needs to do before you’re paid again, what you need to prepare for, what you can set aside for next month, what goals you want to prioritize, and what changes you need to make, if any.

Track your expenses and income

Write it all down to see where your money is going. If your expenses are adding up to more than your income, assess where you can cut back on spending. If your expenses are less than your income, you can save, invest, or spend this difference. If you haven’t started saving yet, today’s a great time to start. You never know when you’ll need it.

5 tiny steps

There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to avoiding financial avoidance, but here are five tiny steps to help you move forward. Feel free to share which step you took with Natalie Asalgado Money, LCSW.

Write down 2 things you want to do with your money
Go to a free event with a friend
Attend a free budget-related workshop
Book a free financial counseling appointment (for folks who reside or work in NYC)
Practice patience and kindness with yourself

Helpful strategies for money management

Try to remember that we’ve all felt stressed about money before. Welcome your feelings without judgment and ask for support.

Use a timeline that works for you to review your expenses
Create a financial calendar to visualize recurring expenses, like rent and subscriptions
Shop with a list and stick to the list
Attend free and low-cost activities in your community
Distinguish between high priority and low priority expenses

When do I seek professional help for money matters?

Meeting with a financial advisor is a great way to start this process. Many banks and credit unions in the US offer a free meeting with a financial planner. You can also chat with a therapist to work through any feelings that are connected to money. These options are always available. You don’t have to be in crisis to ask for support.

How can therapy help me manage my financial avoidance?

Through working with LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent adult children of immature parents, Natalie Asalgado Money, LCSW at Con Carino Psychotherapy has seen how financial stress takes a toll on our physical and mental health. It makes sense that you have feelings about money. Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can offer a sense of stability. Therapy can help you develop the skills you need to manage stress, anxiety, and depression. It can also increase your self-understanding and self-compassion around financial decision-making and everything else life throws your way.

Therapists who specialize in financial stress have a better understanding of how your financial avoidance or general stress and anxiety surrounding money can impact you. They also tend to be pretty financially savvy themselves, which is an added bonus. Start your search for a therapist on Zencare.co to find support for financial stress.

IYKYK

Talking to my spouse, financial planner, and therapist have helped me navigate financial stress. When I first opened a spreadsheet to track my expenses, I broke down. I never thought I would be able to have a financial plan, let alone stick to it. With support, you can find what works for you, fight the shame cycle, and avoid financial avoidance. Tax season and “Financial Literacy Month” may be around the corner, but that means so is spring, the time for rebirth.

5 micro-steps if you’re completely avoiding your finances