A Guide & Toolkit for Living with ADHD

by Zencare team

Published August 8, 2024 by Zencare Team and written by Natalie Asalgado, LCSW

What is ADHD?

Attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder, frequently shortened to ADHD, is marked by a non-linear attention span, differences in sensory processing and filtering, differences in time perception, and internal and/or external hyperactivity (racing thoughts or increased need for movement). You might notice that the criteria above look different from the criteria we typically see. Sonny Jane highlights the importance of utilizing differences-based criteria instead of deficit-based criteria: “normal is a social construct.”

ADHD, learning disabilities, and other neurological and developmental conditions are part of the natural variation of the human mind — otherwise known as neurodiversity. Neurodiversity means there’s no right way to think, learn, and behave (pathology paradigm); there are just different ways to think, learn, and behave (neurodiversity paradigm).

An estimated 15 - 20% of the world’s population is considered neurodivergent. Neurodivergent is a non-medical term that describes people whose brain differences affect how their brain works, creating different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have those differences.

Do I need a diagnosis? Is it helpful?

Like any good therapist, Natalie Asalgado, LCSW of Con Cariño Psychotherapy shared her favorite answer: “It depends.”

Diagnoses are a cluster of symptoms and symptoms are subjective experiences. Diagnoses can help us develop common language to describe our collective experience, find community to feel better understood, and move away from shame or self-blame.

At this micro level, you don’t need a diagnosis, but it may be helpful in understanding yourself and creating community.

At the macro level, diagnoses are necessary to receive reimbursement from insurance companies for rendered services. If you have health insurance and go to therapy and/or see a psychiatric provider to manage ADHD symptoms, you and/or your provider can share your diagnosis with your insurance company to find out if therapy sessions and medication management are covered under your plan.

You can attend support groups, go to therapy, seek coaching, and explore medication options with or without a diagnosis. (Yes, you can weigh your options with a provider without making a decision). Medication can help with ADHD symptoms by increasing norepinephrine in your brain.

Coping Strategies for ADHD

Try to remember that no matter how different we are, we are all trying to find community. People often have much more compassion for us than we think they will. Try to welcome your feelings without judgment and be curious about your experiences.

  • What are your warning signs for burnout?
  • When are you expending energy? When are you recharging?
  • Which sensory experiences are calming? Which sensory experiences are stressful?
  • What activities do you enjoy? When can you do one of those next?
  • Who can you turn to during stressful and/or frustrating moments?

Consider what your true self wants.

  • Do I want to complete this task?
  • Do I think I should complete this task?
  • Who do I think will judge me if I do or don’t complete this task?

Remember that the psychological is connected to the physiological; we can’t separate the mind from the body. Natalie often posits this question: “How are you going to regulate your emotions if/ when you haven't yet nourished your body?”

  • When was the last time I ate? How many colors did I see?
  • When was the last time I drank water? How much water did I drink?
  • Did I have caffeine today? How much caffeine did I consume? How did I feel before, during, and after?

Download Your Coping Strategies for ADHD Guide


ADHD “Hacks"

There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to living with ADHD, but here are some “hacks” that help many folks. Feel free to share your “hacks” with Natalie Asalgado, LCSW.

  • Use body doubling for repetitive and/or mundane tasks (e.g. listen to a podcast or ask someone to be in the room while you do laundry; the dubbii app may help)
  • Wear earplugs or noise-canceling headphones and play ambient sounds
  • “Put your phone down and stand up” (Kelly Baums)
  • Start with the fun or easiest part of your task
  • Break down 1 task into 3 smaller to-do list items if you don’t know where to start
  • Alternate between 1 mundane task and 1 interesting task to complete the mundane task
  • Reward yourself after completing a task, especially when it’s challenging
  • Engage in joyful movement regularly
  • Make your fridge work for you (e.g. store your condiments in the crisper drawer, add a whiteboard to write down what food is still in the fridge)
  • Practice patience and kindness with yourself

Download Your ADHD “Hacks" Guide


How can therapy help me manage my ADHD?

Through working with adult children of immigrant parents who later identify as neurodivergent and/or queer, Natalie has seen how ADHD can show up differently among folks holding minoritized identities. “ADHD can be quite advantageous to have in high-pressure environments, but coping skills developed in these environments don’t lend themselves well to existing in day-to-day life because they can trigger anxious feelings.” Therapy can initially help with symptom management and later increase your self-understanding and self-compassion.

When do I seek professional help for ADHD?

  • When your attention is often drawn to multiple objects of interest at a time (and you’re not intending to split your attention), and this feels very frustrating to you
  • When you feel overwhelmed by unexpected interruptions to your routine
  • When you think you have ADHD (you can complete an online test and discuss your results with a provider to determine next steps)

IYKYK

Therapy and medication management has helped me navigate day-to-day situations. (Notice that I said, “me.” We have to find what works for each of us.) I can’t pinpoint when this started happening, but going out to eat can be a stressful experience for me depending on a variety of factors, such as the noise level at the restaurant, the amount of people around my table, how long the commute was, my hunger level, and where I’m seated. Through conversations with my providers, I started brainstorming ways I could decrease the stress associated with dining out.

I noticed that I have the most trouble focusing on conversations when I have a view of the whole restaurant — even when the subject is interesting and the company is enjoyable. When I face away from the bustle and directly towards my company, there’s a greater ease to providing my attention. I’ve started sharing these observations with my loved ones to help me challenge my shameful feelings.

Finding an ADHD therapist on Zencare

If anything in this guide has resonated with you, and you want to add a mental health professional to your support system, Zencare can help you find them. You can filter therapists on our directory by selecting "ADHD" from our Specialty drop down. Use any other filters to narrow down the selection to therapists that fit your needs best.

Not sure how to find a therapist? Check out comprehensive "How to Find a Therapist" resource to answer your questions and guide your search.

Additional Resources and Media for ADHD

Helpful Folks in the ADHD World

Books on ADHD

  • A Kids Book About Neurodiversity by Laura Petix
  • Slipper the Penguin by Amy Marschall
  • What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work by Adele Lafrance and Ashley P. Miller
  • ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau
  • We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric M. Garcia
  • NeuroDiversity: The Birth of an Idea by Judy Singer

Podcasts/ Videos on ADHD